My daughter is a little bit of a hypochondriac. At least she comes by it honestly. I am the descendant of a long, rich bloodline of champion worriers; My dad's got his internist on his speed dial. My mom's stock response, like her mother before her, is often an emphatic, Oh, my GOD!, or Jesus Christ! before you've even imparted the whole story (bless her heart, she just wants you to know how much she cares about what happened to you). And my sister once convinced herself she had AIDS because of a recurring bladder infection.
I've never been much of a worrier, which is weird, maybe. I don't spend a lot of time pushing at my breasts looking for lumps or examining moles or picking at the growing toe fungus I developed from a bad pedicure a couple summers ago (which is gross, but not really threatening in any way). I tend toward the thinking that if you ignore it long enough, it'll eventually go away, or at least hibernate for a while and leave you alone.
But Lily's been coming up with some really irritating ways of distracting herself lately. I know it's probably only because of the massive amount of transition going on around her...we've only been here 2 months and it's common for anyone, especially, I'd imagine, a little kid, to try and manipulate what they can in their environment when so much of it seems beyond their control, right? Some of these complaints are plain ridiculous though.
(While watching TV) "Mama? One of my eyes feels hot."
(Waking me up in the morning to inform me) "Mama?. MAMA. I accidentally stuck my finger in the cat's mouth and his tooth pricked me and now it really hurts."
(After we put down poison to kill fire ants in the front yard) "I think I have fire ants in my bed and they are biting my stomach now."
"I'm too full to go to school."
What to do? I want to support my little girl and let her know I care and that I'm here for her, but Jeez. I also don't want to encourage her worrying.
Thoughts, guys?
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Good old fashioned mid western "quit your bitching" tended to work for me...
ReplyDeleteWhenever my kids do that, I get a very serious look on my face and I say, "Ok, I'll call the doctor and see when she can get you in. It's bad enough that I need to call the doctor, right?" If they say yes, I confirm with them in the morning that they do indeed want to go to the doctor and if the response is still yes, I include that a shot or two will probably really clear the issue up. Shots are usually the deal breaker, if they're really sick, they don't care, but when they're just whining about something, there is no way that they'd go to the doctor and even risk having to get a shot! I can't tell you how often it quiets them down and avoids unnecessary visits to the doctor!
ReplyDeleteAh, Lil. What a little pistol that kid is! I love the things she comes up with.
ReplyDeleteOf course, who hasn't felt too full to go somewhere they didn't really want to go in the first place? I was a mini hypochondriac as a child and am still halfway convinced that worms are chewing through my brain every time I get a headache. That might be just a personality thing though, or the fact that I never want to go to work.
Maybe you can make a deal with Lil to let her take one day a month off of school for kind of a mental health day? And then let her watch all the terrible TV shows and eat all the junk food she wants on that day, or something like that? Or maybe just swoop by her school one day and take her out to lunch, just the two of you and then sign her back in? If she had that sort of thing to look forward to she might not make stuff up? I would have enjoyed that anyway.
I'm sure you'll figure it out. You're a good mommy.
I don't have any born kids yet so my advice isn't exactly experienced. Aaaand I can't think of anything. I'm useless. OH! BUT I can tell you what my Ma used to do with me. She didn't poo-poo poor baby me AT ALL and usually just explained to me exactly what the REAL cause or reason or effect that something was going to have on me. She was strait to the point and no nonsense which might sound mean - but BUT!!! - But when your Mom sounds FOR SURE of what's going on it's actually a relief. When the parent is assured and confident it's assuring TO the kid because the kid can see that the Adult knows (or seems to) what they're talking about, that everything is fine and everything is going to be o.k.
ReplyDeleteI really hope I made some sort of sense.
"Yes a cat bite is going to hurt because it punctured your skin - but it is not going to make your finger fall off."
"Your eye's are fine just make sure you're not sitting too close to the t.v. and you're remembering to blink."
AFTER making sure there are no ants - "There are no ants in your bed they are all dead - go put some lotion on you probably have dry skin."
I would just treat as a stage for now. Just about every personality my daughter has tried on has been replaced by something completely different. Let her know you hear her and you are concerned for her well being but don't give it much attention otherwise and I bet she'll come up with something even more annoying before you know it.
ReplyDeleteA little 'Oh My God, let's rush you to the hospital.. I am sure they have a needle to cure that!' would go a long way.
ReplyDeleteSounds like our 10 yr old. She has some alement every morning, except of course on the weekends or holiday.
ReplyDeleteHave to be cautious too. We've had her tested for various stomach issues since its her most common complaint and the pediatrician prescribed her some acid reflux medicine to see if that helped. A few months later when we were applying for Health Insurance (not through my employer) they denied coverage for my daughter because they believed she had a pre-existing life-long condition. They however offered nicely to set us up a seperate policy just for her which was almost as much as the rest of the family. It took a lot of explaining that she was never diagnosed with anything and several things from the doctor before they finally let her on the family policy.
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As a side note, I am finally able to post comments on your blog. Apparently something with your method of choosing the "Comment as" doesn't work with Firefox at work. IE however seems to work just fine! Love the blog.
Oh, and heres a doozy: last night at dance class, she removed her tap shoe and came out to me, "I can't dance, I have glass in my tap shoe".
ReplyDeleteSigh.
1. You've only been in the South TWO months and you used a very common Southern term "Bless her heart"
ReplyDelete2. Maybe Lily needs a Mom and Lily day (like the old days)?