OK, I admit I am a little touchy around this time of the month, but I just called up the mom of one of Lily's little friends on the block to come over and play (here in the south for some godforsaken reason they give the kids the WHOLE week of Thanksgiving off, and I am already yanking hairs out by the roots looking for fun stuff to do).
The little girl's grandma was watching her and her brothers, as mom was out playing tennis. And when Grandma asked the kid if she wanted to come play, the kid's older brother said (loudly enough for me to hear), "she's not allowed to play at Lily's house."
Slap. Right in the face.
Well, fuck you too.
I don't know why I care. I shouldn't. But I hate the idea of someone I don't know judging me. So, of course, I took that moment to do a personal inventory and try and figure out why a woman I barely know wouldn't let her kid play at my house. Here are some of the reasons I considered:
A. We have hanging in our hallway an abstract-ish naked oil painting Jeremy did of himself in college (which I love, because he looks so vulnerable with his red pubes), with the word 'Fuck' written in tiny letters on the bottom.
B. Our dog is brain-damaged and selectively vicious-seeming when people come to the door.
C. We have buddhas and incense all over the house, leading people to believe that perhaps we are... 'alternative'.
D. We're not married but are co-habitating, which I think the baby jesus says is a sin, thought I haven't boned up on my bible lately.
I guess the bottom line is fuck what she thinks, right? Or maybe she doesn't even really have any issues with us, she's just really strict about where her kids play.
Either way, I need to not be so thin-skinned. It's not easy for me though.
Happy Tofurkey Day!!!
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People are for the most part irrationally protective of their children. You are this... energetic woman from Babylo... er, New York City who has been in the community for a relatively short time.
ReplyDeleteFrom Jeremy's writings, I would have to seriously consider letting Sadie or Violet play at his house. I can only assume his... demeanor is just as unique. I'd let them over, but I would think about it first.
There is a natural lag in social acceptance that is defined by community norms, and it really is dependent upon your personal engagement with the woman in question.
How much does she know about you? How accepting are you of her personal values? How willing are you to behave in a way that she would consider normative?
Of course, this infers that she is a linch pin in defining what "normative" means. How much pull does she have? What is her social network? How strong is your personal social network?
Eesh. This is complicated. I'm so glad Kim handles this part of the household.
I'm glad Kim handles that stuff too, Scoot :)
ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteI am hyper protective. I won't let my kids go with their uncle, and he is quite offended, but I just don't wanna. Anyway, if you were my neighbor we would already be friends and the girls would be allowed to come over.
I am very protective of my children. They are not allowed to play at someones house I don't know really well. I wouldn't take it personally.
ReplyDeleteinteresting comments, guys. Maybe I should lighten up. I'm still a sensitive little bugger tho. Can't help it.
ReplyDeleteshe's probably still holding a grudge over that time i took a dump on her lawn.
ReplyDeleteFrom what I've observed these days, modern parents are utterly terrified by infinite television dramas portraying pedophiles, rapists, serial killers, and pedophile rapist serial killers (all white males, of course) around every corner. Well, you're just around the corner from them, eh? So that and the fact that you came from the damn Yankee north means it must be you!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, when I was a kid, we got on our bikes and disappeared all day long. My parents had no clue where we were or what we were doing. Nobody ever kidnapped or raped us who wasn't one of the other neighbors' kids and thus allowed in our house anyway, so there was no point worrying so much. But today, every kind on my street is confined to their own yard unless their parents are right there with them, watching every single tiny move they make. Fear is the order of the day here in America. It's the one thing still manufactured here, and we make a shitload of it.
I had this great long, comment all typed out and my wireless connection punk'd out on me! Okay, here's the highpoints:
ReplyDelete1.don't take it personally. Introduce yourself to the mom and let her see how awesome you are! That will go a long way towards her cutting the apron strings on the kiddos.
2. (In response to Steve's comment) Country living=free range parenting..city/town living=helicopter parenting. And, yes there is far too much irrational fear in our society today.
because what if...what if you're...a DEMOCRAT?!?!?
ReplyDeleteif I heard one of Caden's friends say that I would give a sigh of relief that there's one less kid I have to worry about coming over and annoying the hell out of me.
Fucking cunt mother. That's my guess.
ReplyDeleteInvite her over for coffee and have two potions (since you apparently are a witch) prepared. If she is nice give her the good witch potion, if not let the Ex-Lax party begin. She'll think it's H1N1
ReplyDeleteI don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to know why the kid's not allowed to come and play.
ReplyDelete