Loosiana Halloween

If there's one thing this state knows how to do it's celebrate. Goddang. Highlights from this weekend's Halloween debauching:

1. The weather kicked ASS. It was warm enough that we didn't need coats, but it got cool enough at night that you could justify having a fire outside.

2. Parents take their kids trick or treating while holding beer cozys and/or glasses of wine, walking all over the neighborhood and getting plastered.

3. My neighbors set up a table in front of their house, and the woman of the house lay on the table with fake guts gushing all over her stomach, while her husband wore a scary mask and pretended to cut her up with a chainsaw over and over all night. This probably should have been highlight #1. The chainsaw was fake, but it sounded and even smelled like a real one (like gasoline). You could hear the RRRR RRR RRRR of it all over the neighborhood. The kids would walk up to the table, where the guy would hold out a bowl of candy, then as they reached in to grab some, he'd reach down and get the chainsaw, and then chase them with it. This caused much screaming and pants-peeing and was quite entertaining for the adults.

4. There was a hillbilly family visiting the neighborhood in a jeep which was hauling a little flatbed with a dirty couch on it. The hillbilly mom sat on the couch and smoked while her husband and son hauled her around. It was slightly unsettling, but interesting nonetheless. And as long as they didn't try to give Lily any apples with razors in them, it was cool.

5. I enough candy to last me through next Halloween. But what's up with the Laffy Taffy, Baton Rouge? That shit is gross.

I uploaded some pics; click here. Mwah!